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COULD IT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?

Unless you’ve missed the clip of Iliman Ndiaye executing a reverse bouncing nutmeg at Everton’s training ground, you should check it out. Through performing a move so nasty that it would have been appropriate at a Harlem Globetrotters show game, the skill immediately shut down what was meant to be a casual practice to conclude what had been – up to that point – an illuminating interview about how amateur players can secure a fresh start after being let go from professional academies.

Ndiaye, who featured in non-league games directly before being recruited by Sheffield United at 19, is expertly placed to speak on this topic. “Avoid dwelling on the rejection and one day your luck is going to arrive,” he informed a young player immediately prior to executing said ninja move on his teammate, in doing so vividly showing the gap between Premier League and amateur footballers he had been attempting to dispel.

Ndiaye joins a list of professional footballer to go slightly overboard. Prime Michael Owen cheerfully overwhelming a young shot-stopper in front of a smouldering Neville Southall is undoubtedly the prime example in this unique area – but the one-time Reds forward is just one of many culprits. Both Christian Eriksen and Shinji Kagawa have reduced toddlers to actual tears with a series of merciless tricks, although it’s considered that the latter was at least driven by the Japanese player’s social media disgrace caption – “this frustration makes a person stronger” – and the related tag of #friendship.

Kagawa’s former Dortmund teammates Lukasz Piszczek, Jakub Blaszczykowski and Nuri Sahin at least had the decency to be defeated against 100 children when the group played during the interval of their last appearance for BVB. A Real Madrid XI that contained Cristiano Ronaldo and Xabi Alonso were not so generous when they took on 109 Chinese kids in a comparable scenario. But returning to the beginning, it’s approximated that only 180 of the 1.5 million boys currently playing organized youth football in England will ever feature in the Premier League, a harsh truth for toddlers and teenagers across the country.

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FEATURED STATEMENT

“The game guided me but it never abandoned me because I never abandoned my dream. I went from location to location. The love of football propels you. I couldn’t always see where it was leading me. But today I have the solution” – head coach Veljko Paunovic pauses briefly from his training to discuss his path.

FAN FEEDBACK

“Pleasant to learn that Kevin Mac Allister won’t be excluded by Argentina. Ideally, if he travels to the major tournament next year, he’ll read up on how to travel around the host cities – let’s avoid him being disoriented in New York” – James Humphries.

“Reports indicate that 1,024 players in the Turkish league have been suspended due to suspected participation in a gambling controversy. It would be wonderful if that number could be raised to the same level of characteristic precision associated with Football Daily – that is, 1,057 readers. By my math, that’s about 33 more detail-oriented individuals. If I agree to be excluded from playing professionally in Turkey (not much of a loss at my age and, um, skill level), are there 32 more folks willing to join in my search for symmetry?” – Mike Wilner.

“As a daily reader and Florida resident, can I in advance protest about the next several days of published letters about which highway one uses to get to various locations in your country? I mean, I was delayed in congestion on I-4 at 2am on a Tuesday night driving through Orlando once, but that’s the complete account. There’s no rewarding moral to the tale. (I-4 joins Tampa on the Gulf Coast to Daytona on the Atlantic via Orlando/Walt Disney World, and can have congestion problems at any time)” – Rasteen Nowroozi.

“Apropos Wythenshawe FC, I remember many years ago playing for a Sunday, very social side, Turnpike Lane Hibs, on Clapham Common. One morning a bloke known as ‘Danny’ turned up to play. I have no idea who invited him. Apparently he was an actor; he had a good left side. (Yes, Daniel Day-Lewis)” – Jason Steger.

“Together with some colleagues and friends, I play a game of football each Friday afternoon. Our oldest player is pushing 80, while the least experienced are in their twenties. To ensure a positive atmosphere for everyone, we have a simple rule of thumb regarding the quality of player: you can be quick or talented, but preferably not both. We periodically have players who violate this rule, but usually typically reduce them to our quality over time” – Lars Esbjerg.