🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?